recovering notes from the deep, part 22

from fifteen on

i went pretty deep into

the catcher in the rye phase

and never really came out of it

that kind of adolescence

that always seems naively innocent

and rebellious

all at the same time

of course it's never a path

that's consciously chosen

you try to be as honest

as the world will let you

but this is where i ended up i think

never looking long range

always looking for the unsaid phrase

mostly undefined emotions that bring a tear

when you leave home young (with youngins)

and then everyone grows up

and you return alone

from what seems like a lifetime later

imagination knows how to trick you

for the years gone when only

a nose to the grindstone

could fill empty pockets

when every road and mirage

leads to a parched underbelly

you thought you could always whimsically rely

on falling back and finding your bearings

growing up absurd

should have been a prerequisite

you know the fields should have been sowed

in sunflowers

--- e b bortz