recovering notes from the deep, part 4

the anxiety
of riding into late evening
with the next installment of my column
     bicycling notes
tucked under my windbreaker
     and nothing but
the forecast of another twenty-five dollar check
from a struggling rural newspaper
after detailing the facts of the
last county commissioners meeting
and the citizens who might speak up
     for transparency
     the most radical of ideas
          then
from the great north woods of minnesota

and yet
the anxiety of not writing at all
     was greater
than any other scenario
making the early blast
     of spring
an arousing wakeup
leaving no doubt
that a new road was consciously
being taken
and wherever it would lead
would by necessity
     not be
where i was
right then

my hands had bore
many thousands of days
     of grit
     never to be hidden
     a part of any reality to come
          a confessional of sorts
          as uncomfortable as the word might be
and there wasn't an illusion being fed
     that i       would admit to
     since the way those spring clouds converged
     was clear evidence
that the returning canada geese
     came just in time

--- e b bortz